Thunderwolves Get First Win; Possums Overtake Armadillos; Legion and Lannisters Take Care of Business
CM Happy Holidays (2-5) vs. KK Thunderwolves (0-6-1)
After a disappointing start to the season, Kyle knew he needed a win against the slumping Happy Hollidays. There is no way he could have expected to get on the board with a dominant 10-0 sweep. The Thunderwolves performed best on offense, where a group of four players each hit two home runs. Ryan Braun was the standout – he paired two steals with his two home runs. Jonathan LuCroy provided offense from the catcher position. Gregory Polanco led the team with nine hits, and also contributed a steal. The Happy Hollidays had little offense to counter the Thunderwolves. Ben Zobrist had a nice week, but he was the only player with an OBP above 0.320. Kyle dominated all five categories and finished tied for third in home runs and SLG. He led the league in OBP and was second in RBI.
The Thunderwolves pitching was less impressive, but it was good enough to earn another 5-0 category sweep. Yu Darvish returned to form in his second post-injury start. Jose Fernandez was also excellent, but Zach Greinke, Yordano Ventura, and Michael Wacha all struggled. The Hollidays tried for quality over quantity, but none of the team’s starters were effective. The team allowed 27 runs in 46 IP, including a disastrous week for Adam Wainwright. Neither team has a lot to brag out on pitching, but the Thunderwolves did more than enough to earn the victory.
Kyle’s first win of the season was a long-time coming. However, the return of Darvish along with better offensive production could help turn the team around. The Goofballs and Hollidays are only a half-game ahead of Kyle in the standings, so there is plenty of time for the Thunderwolves to make it back to the middle tier of the league.
LK Armadillos (5-1-1) vs. RK Possums (2-4-1)
Like the Thunderwolves, the Possums started slowly this season. However, they have turned things around in recent weeks and hoped to keep things rolling against the Armadillos. Rick took advantage of Larry’s weak offensive showing, but the Armadillos countered with better steals totals and a higher OBP. Rick’s power came from some unlikely sources. Wilson Ramos hit two home runs, as did Xander Bogaerts. Adam Duvall also added a home run and four RBI in his only game played. Four other Possums also hit homers, and rick built a commanding leader in the power and RBI categories. The Armadillos countered with a rebound week for Starling Marte, who had four steals. Ian Desmond added two more, along with a team-high 0.444 OBP. This was enough to give Larry two categories to Rick’s three, before accounting for pitching.
The Possums and Armadillos threw roughly the same number of innings, so the winner of the week would be the team with the best individual performances. The best pitcher for either team was Justin Verlander, who threw eight shutout innings with only five base runners and ten strikeouts. Clayton Kershaw was almost as good, allowing two runs over 16.2 IP and striking out 17. However, his good work was undone by disastrous outings from the Armadillos’ bullpen. Craig Kimbrel and Jeurys Familia threw 3.1 IP and allowed six earned runs. Their poor performance resulted in a tie in the saves category. The Possums edged the Armadillos by two strikeouts. Larry was able to win ERA, but Rick won WHIP. This split-decision gave Rick the three categories he needed to ensure victory.
The Possums pulled off the upset and moved to within a game of 0.500. The emergence of Xander Bogaerts is the most positive news for the Possums this year. After heavily investing in Bogaerts through the years, the Possums now have one of the best shortstops in the league. Meanwhile, the Armadillos are left looking for answers after a series of disappointing results.
KG Capital City Goofballs (2-5) vs. JK Lannisters (5-1-1)
After upsets to the Hollidays and Armadillos, the Lannisters were the next target of an underdog. The Goofballs played the Lannisters tough in the first match of the season, and this second round was no different. Early in the week, the Goofballs’ pitching looked like it might deliver a victory. The Goofballs threw 79 IP and had the best ERA in the league by far. They also had the lowest WHIP, second most saves, tied for second in wins, and were fourth in strikeouts. The staff was led by a pair of Rays, Jake Odorizzi and Chris Archer. The pair threw 20 IP, allowed three earned runs, and just eight base runners. Johnny Cueto was also dominant, throwing 15 IP with an ERA of 0.60 and a WHIP of 0.67. David Price and Tom Koehler were also excellent. Unfortunately for the Goofballs, the Lannisters also deployed productive starters. Rich Hill continued to play well, and was one of a trio of Lannister pitchers who struck out 15 for the week. Stephen Strasburg and John Lackey each pitched two great games, and only Wei-Yen Chen was a bust for the week. The Goofballs took both rate stats, but the Lannisters had more quantity and won wins, saves, and strikeouts.
Kevin had to rely on his offense to carry the week. The Goofballs deployed an incredible 19 players and 11 of them hit home runs. Todd Frazier and Lorenzo Cain stayed hot, as did Brandon Belt and Trevor Story. Frazier was the best of the group, with two homers and two steals. However, despite all of the home runs, the Goofballs fell short of the RBIs you might expect. The Lannisters took advantage with massive weeks from Eric Hosmer and David Ortiz. Nine Lannisters hit home runs, including three from Robinson Cano. Buster Posey finally returned to form with a pair of home runs and a steal. Hosmer and Mike Trout added steals, and Jeff tied the category. Every Lannister with at least 10 at-bats had at least two RBI. This was enough to give the Lannisters the win in HR, RBI, SLG, and OBP. They led the league in all of those categories except OBP, where they were second. Despite this level of production, the Goofballs kept things close until Sunday when the third Cano home run locked down HR and SLG.
The Goofballs fell just short yet again. Here are the results they would have had against every other team in the league:
- Armadillos: Win 9-1
- Possums: Win 7-1-2
- Hollidays: Win 10-0
- Thunderwolves: Win 7-3
- Legion: Win 8-2
- PhoeGnomes: Win 7-2-1
The Goofballs would have beaten every other team, and the results weren’t particularly close. The same applies to the Lannsiters. In their two match-ups, the teams have combined for 61 home runs. The entire league has hit 602 total. This means that the Goofballs and Lannisters have hit 10% of the league’s home runs in just 2 of the 32 totals matches that have been played so far. This also includes the home runs hit on Monday of this week. Both teams will have to hope that they are not exhausted going into their next matches.
CP Legion (4-1-2) vs. HP PhoeGnomes (5-2)
The week’s final match paired the PhoeGnomes and Legion. Both teams are at the top of the league. The Legion hoped to stop the PhoeGnomes from further ascension. For her part, Heather needed the victory to get back on track and for tiebreaker considerations. Unfortunately for the PhoeGnomes, her offense sputtered while the Legion’s put up great numbers. The PhoeGnomes were near the bottom of the league in HR and were next to last in SLG. Chris was the opposite, and finished near the top in HR, OBP, SLG, and steals. Seven Legion players had home runs, and Jonathan Villar was the best of the group. He had a home, four steals, and OBP of 0.567 in 22 AB. Brett Lawrie showed signs of life with a home run and a steal. Heather didn’t have any effective counters, except for Miguel Sano. He hit four home runs, but few other PhoeGnomes contributed much. Chris won four categories with ease, but the PhoeGnomes were able to take RBI with a surprisingly high total. This gave Heather a chance if her pitching performed.
Heather set a strong early pace by winning strikeouts by a huge margin. Her staff threw 24 more innings than Chris’s, and racked up the most strikeouts in the league. This number came with a steep cost, though, as the PhoeGnomes had the second worst ERA and WHIP in the league. Chris wasn’t much better, and actually had the worst WHIP overall. Heather also had the better bullpen, but Chris was able to tie the critical wins category for the week. Only one of Heather’s four Sunday starters got a win, and the Legion were able to take the category and the overall win. Heather had a chance to tie, but the pieces didn’t fall her way this time. Once again, the Legion were able to take a close match and remain near the top of the league. Heather is still a strong contender, and will likely fare better when her offense turns around.
Next Week
The Goofballs will look to stay hot against the PhoeGnomes. Kevin hopes that his luck is better this time around, while Heather needs a win to keep pace. The Possums want to continue to win, but face the difficult Lannisters. However, Rick’s pitching often frustrates the Lannisters, and he has one of the better records against the defending champs through the years. The Legion hope to keep things moving against the slumping Hollidays. Finally, the Thunderwolves hope for win number two against the frustrated Armadillos.


Heather’s pitching was outstanding, leading the league in every category except saves. Noah Syndergaard was phenomenal, pitching 14 innings, striking out 21, and allowing no earned runs. Heather had only one starter allow more than two runs for the week. If you remove the terrible stats from Shawn Tolleson, the PhoeGnomes would have had a 1.26 ERA over 64.1 IP. Aroldis Chapman and Francisco Rodriguez had three saves each, and Heather tied for second in this category. Kyle was unable to mount a serious challenge in the face of these dominant statistics. He did lead the league in saves, but Heather still boasted a commanding 4-1 lead for the side.
On pitching, the Hollidays fared much better. Cole Hamels struck out 17 over 14.2 innings. Aaron Sanchez and Adam Wainwright were also strong in their single starts. Larry’s starters were the corollary to Chris’s staff: They were largely ineffective. Adam Conley pitched 11.1 innings but gave up seven earned runs. Kenta Maeda allowed nine in nine IP. J.A. Happ and Jason Hammel weren’t much better, and only Clayton Kershaw really lived up to expectations. Chris won ERA and WHIP by a huge margin, though Larry somehow tied in wins. The Armadillos’ advantage in innings pitched translated to a win in strikeouts. This resulted in a decisive win, but the Hollidays were not without opportunities. One more win, a few strikeouts, and a steal would have turned the tide.
The Legion received stellar pitching early in the week. Danny Salazar and Carlos Rodon set the pace, and the Legion built a commanding lead in strikeouts along with solid ERA and WHIP numbers. The Lannisters had an unfavorable pitching schedule for most of their starters, were there were few early-week games. This gave the Legion the luxury of observing results and tailoring later pitchers as conditions dictated. However, Jeff had solid stat lines from Stephen Strasburg and John Lackey in the early going. He also piled up saves, and built a commanding lead.
On offense, the Lannisters had better fortune. Monster weeks from Mookie Betts, JD Martinez, and Kris Bryant built huge leads in HR, RBI, and SLG. Chris was closer and OBP, but the Lannisters were fairly comfortable there too. However, Chris dominated steals in the same way the Lannisters captured saves. This gave each team four secure categories, with only steals and wins realistically in play.

Xander Bogaerts and Albert Pujols led the way for the Possums with four home runs and 13 RBI. Bogaerts was particularly strong for the week with 15 hits. Charlie Blackmon contributed seven more RBI, and the Possums easily won OBP, SLG, home runs, and RBI. Chris was able to salvage a tie in steals, and Matt Holliday had a big week, but it wasn’t enough to turn any categories. After leading the Hollidays to a win over the PhoeGnomes, Francisco Lindor endured a miserable five hit week. Lindor has a .222 OBP and .192 SLG. Yadier Molina and Ben Zobrist were the opposite, combining for 20 hits in 41 at-bats. Unfortunately, they didn’t offer much power for the week, and Chris was forced to rely on his pitching.
Both teams performed well relative to the rest of the league. The PhoeGnomes had the lowest ERA of any team, and the Armadillos were second. Heather was second in WHIP and Larry was third. He also led the league in saves and tied for first in wins. This gave each team a 2-2 split to go along with their 2-2-1 result on offense. The outcome of the week rested on strikeouts. If Larry won the category, he would win the week. A tie would also result in a draw.
The teams were evenly matched on pitching as well. Kyle threw fewer innings but had good starts from Jose Fernandez and Aaron Nola. Fernandez in particular was outstanding, giving up one run and striking out 22 in 14.0 IP. Jeff countered with solid weeks from Felix Hernandez, Jon Lester, and Jacob deGrom. However, both teams had several starters who struggle. This led to split results with Kyle taking wins and ERA but Jeff winning both strikeouts and WHIP. In fact, the Lannisters led the league in WHIP despite having just the third best ERA. These mixed results were enough to give the Lannisters the win. Kyle had an opening to win the match, but didn’t have enough firepower to get the job done. For the Lannisters, the workmanlike win was important after the rest of the leaders kept pace.

The Armadillos were led by Rougned Odor and Chris Carter, who had three home runs each. Four other Armadillos had two home runs, and Gregory Polanco and Mark Trumbo added one each. Billy Hamilton contributed two steals to give Larry the easy category win. However, Jeff was able to answer with excellent weeks from Robinson Cano with four home runs and nine RBI. Bryce Harper added 13 walks. Unfortunately for the Lannisters, the Armadillos were able to add just a few more home runs along with a higher overall SLG.
Chris’s victory was led by his offense, which won four of five categories. The star for the week was Ben Zobrist who had four home runs, 15 RBI, and five walks. Francisco Lindor and Stephen Piscotty combined for 13 hits and two home runs. Heather tried to counter with good weeks from several players, including the red-hot Jose Altuve. However, Paul Goldschmidt managed just three hits and a .182 SLG. Altuve’s four steals were easily enough to win the category (and lead the league) but the rest of Heather’s bats just weren’t working this week. Chris took a solid win on offense.
Kyle fared better on the pitching side and led the league in strikeout and saves. Alex Colome was especially good, recording four saves for the Thunderwolves. Michael Wacha and Aaron Nola struck out 26 in 15 IP. However, Yordano Ventura had a terrible week, and Edinson Volquez wasn’t much better in two starts. Kevin was able to take WHIP and ERA by virtue of strong performances from Chris Archer and Jeff Samardzija. This was enough to give Kevin a well-earned second victory for the season. The Goofballs were able to right the ship after several weeks of bad luck. For the Thunderwolves, the improved offensive performance is a good sign. However, they need to put together a complete week to earn their first victory of the year.


Coming off three consecutive wins, the Lannisters faced off against the Happy Hollidays. Chris M. hoped to get back on track against the league’s early leader. Unfortunately, Jeff’s pitching staff had other ideas. After several seasons of relying on their offense, the Lannisters have instead leaned on pitching early in the season. Tanner Roark continued his early dominance, allowing how runs and just two hits over seven innings. Five other Lannister starters allowed two earned runs or fewer in their starts. Jon Lester and Stephen Strasburg combined to strike out 13. These performances gave the Lannisters comfortable margins in strikeouts, wins, ERA, and WHIP. The Happy Hollidays weren’t able to mount a challenge for saves, either, and Jeff recorded a comfortable 5-0 sweep.
Unfortunately for Kyle, much of his work on offense was undone by a terrible week for Zach Greinke. The Diamondbacks’ ace gave up nine earned runs and 19 hits in 13.2 IP. Edison Volquez was even worse, allowing eight earned runs in just five innings pitched. Similar efforts from Yordano Ventura and Chase Anderson gave Chris easy wins in ERA and WHIP. The Legion also had several two-start pitchers who performed well and piled up strikeouts. This gave Chris secure wins in four categories, and earned him a 6-4 victory. The win was another needed step for the Legion, who hope to compete despite a depleted roster. Kyle has to be frustrated with his team’s start, given the effort he put forth in the off-season. The offense continues to struggle, and the team’s pitching core has not performed well thus far.
The clubs had the highest two SLG in the league. Kevin took the category by a narrow margin, but a huge week from Giancarlo Stanton gave Larry the edge in OBP. This meant that HR, RBI, and steals would decide the week. Thanks to Stanton, Larry had a strong home run base, but Kevin answered with a distributed attack from Freddie Freeman, Gerardo Parra, and Logan Forsythe. The two teams tied, with Larry taking a slim lead in steals and RBI. This was enough to secure a 6-3-1 victory for the week for the Armadillos. However, Kevin would have won with another home run and three RBI. Kevin left a few home runs on the bench for the week, but none on Sunday. He can take some consolation that the Armadillos left four home runs and 11 RBIs on the bench on Sunday alone. The Armadillos remained unbeaten, and the Goofballs are left searching for better luck.